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| Pastor Paul and Samantha Roach |
What is pastors-wives.com? This is pastor's wives support site. It is a place to go when you as a pastor's
wife are hurting to get answers. This site was originally started for young pastor's wives who didn't know how to be
a pastor's wife. When I was a new pastor's wife I made every mistake in the book. I was crying out for help.
I went to the Christian book stores and found a couple of books that were sweet but really had no substance to them.
I thought right then, someone needs to write an honest book to pastor's wives.
This is a site where I'm honest and open about my mistakes, blow its, good times and bad times. I talk about
the duties of a pastor's wife, the stereo types that some try to put you in and how to become your own person as a pastor's
wife. I encourage you to e-mail me and tell your own
story and...if you're willing, I'll tell your story (anonymously if you like) on line to help other pastors wives. We're
not just interested in how you blew it or someone hurt you and how you overcame...we're interested in how you did it
right too. I would like for this to be a resource for pastors
wives who are hurting, and help on how to be a pastors wife. We're always looking for resources to share with other
pastor's wives out there and so encourage you to let us know so we can share it on this site. If you have something
you'd like to share with other pastor's wives that you think would be a blessing feel free to click my e-mail connection and
send it to me. I will gladly share it on this site.
God bless you as you fulfill this call on your life. Samantha
I thought you might want to know a little background on me. I am married to a wonderful husband...Paul Roach,
whom I call the hunk! Paul has a son, James, whom we raised from the time he was 11 years old. He is grown now, and a pastor
in Cordell, Oklahoma, married to a wonderful girl, Lori, who is also a minister, and we now have 5 grandchildren. Paul and
I pastor Faith Family Church in El Reno, Oklahoma, my husbands home town. We love being here and we love our wonderful
people.
Life was not always wonderful for me. Many years ago because of poor decision making on my part,
I married, divorced and married a 2nd time; to a man who was physically and mentally abusive as well as being an alcholic.
I wasn't such a great catch either. I was dabbling in things that would have destroyed me including fast becoming an alcoholic.
Life was not good. Three years
after I married him, he was sleeping around on me, I was sleeping around on him. One morning in one of those situations,
I looked at the guy I was with and I heard myself say inside, " This isn't right! I can't live this way anymore.
I know better!" That week I told God, "I don't know how to serve you. If I did I would have
all those years, but now I'm asking you to put within me what ever it is that I need to follow you all the rest
of my life." That was in April of 1971. He has been so faithful. My 2nd husband finally asked me for a divorce one final
time and I said yes. We were just $50,000 away from being millionaires (at least on paper) but I had to walk away
with nothing but the clothes on my back and my car.
At age 32 I had nothing to show for my life, but God spoke to my heart and said if I would follow him he would make my life
rich and wonderful. I had to change my name and start a whole new life. For the next 2 years I slept on the floor in
the home of my pastors and their wives, who had moved to another state. I helped them with a new business they were
doing. If I had 2 dimes to rub together I felt blessed. At the end of that time, I went to Oklahoma to help my pastor's mother, whom I had known in California.
She needed someone to run her restaurant while she had surgery. So off I went on a new adventure, thinking I would only
be in Oklahoma for 2 or 3 months. Little did I know that God had a destiny for me. Three months later I was still
in Oklahoma and trying my best to leave Oklahoma. I had absolutely no intention of ever staying Oklahoma, but did God
listen to me??? Nooooooo! He told me to stay. I said, "Okay?" At that point I began praying
and God spoke to me to attend a Bible School called Rhema Bible Training Center in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Never in
a million years would I have thought God would call me to ministry, but call me he did. I almost had to have Moses and
Elijah and 3 angels appear before me to convince me it was ok.
Rhema accepted me and I graduated in 1982. I met my wonderful husband and in a romance
only God could put together we married in 1984 and I've been a pastor's wife ever since. The Lord spoke to me while
still a student and said he would take me from border to border and coast to coast preaching that God is the same yesterday,
today and forever. What he did in the Bible he'll do today. Today, I travel border to border and coast to coast
preaching the message of victory and overcoming that he has given me.
In looking back over my life I see that my life has become rich and wonderful because of the faithfulness of God.
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Happy New Year Everybody, It was a really busy year this last year and I'm finally able
to bring a couple of new situations before you. I would really love some input from some of you wives on these. I have received a couple of e-mails that I would love some
input on. The first one is a young (early 20's) pastor's wife who is excited about ministry but doesn't know what her
role should be. She is a new mom ( 13 month old daughter) plus a new pastor's wife. Prior to being married, she
was actively involved in her church, working with youth ministry, singing in the choir and now, she feels like she is a pastor's
wife in name only. Her husband appears to see her role as "his wife" and he is "protecting" her
from anything that goes on at the church. The church sees her as too young and not knowing anything about ministering
in a church. She loves her husband and loves the flock but feels like she's just existing. She also is concerned about her husband counseling women in
the church by himself. She trusts her husband and he has on occasion brought in a board member or someone else in the
church to be with him when he ministers to women but does not want her to take an active role. She is frustrated and
doesn't know what to do. What
about it ladies? Have any of you ever had that problem and how did you handle it? The 2nd situation is a very difficult one. A pastor's wife whose husband molested
their daughter many years ago and it was reported. He spent some time in prison for it. The wife was not treated
well, basically ostracized and abandoned by the organization her husband was a part of, including the pastors over her husband.
The manner in which it was handled by the organization was to protect the organization, which is understandable but there
was no ongoing help for the wife and her children. She's struggling with forgiving him and dealing with her son who
has decided there is no God. They have had disaster after disaster hit them, unrelated to the original offense of the
husband and don't know how to climb out of all this. The wife struggles with wanting to be actively involved in church, she has found a church that accepts
her including the pastor, but she feels she cannot share anything or open up about it because of the possibility of judgement
of her and people backing off from her. She also feels very strongly that there needs to be a way to reach out to other
pastor's wives who've gone through what she's gone through. She's not sure how to go about it. Have you or do you know a pastor's wife who has gone through
something similar that would have some input or a word of encouragement for her: We would love to hear from you.
e-mail me with your comments....Love in Christ...Samantha
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